Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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