I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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