i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
