U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
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