you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize