i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize