I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
ok first of all what the fuck
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
