Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Also, beer. Big fan.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
