Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Randomize
