I must be too annoying 4 u.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
