You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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