we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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