that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
