do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She announced her abortion via fbk
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
