i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
