Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
