Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
