we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
