I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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