oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
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If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
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After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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