I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
