She is in my trunk
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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