I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
