why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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