If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
