This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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