a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
