He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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