his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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