Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
