Can Purell be used as lube?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
