well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
