i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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