Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
