I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
