Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Dear god my vagina.
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