I got her a Nickelback box set.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
