Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
