I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
zippers are such a cool invention
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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