We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
