ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
