I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
