Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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