I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
