my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
