Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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