i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize