ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
