I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
