I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
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Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
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I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
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