The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
