you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
