how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
