I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
