It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
