Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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