yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
